8 Lessons I Learned from Mom

It's been more than seven years since my mother died. And though I miss her, I still think about the eight lessons I learned from Mom.

1. Invest in the Early Years.

My mother worked outside the home for over 35 years. But when I was born, she took six years off from work to stay home with me full-time. My mother was with me seven days a week, 24 hours a day.

I learned how to share and play with others in those early years. I learned to work hard. I learned to love music and sing happy songs. I learned to be hospitable. I learned about the Bible and about God and Jesus. I learned humility. I learned that being faithful was more important than being successful.

’Til this day, I am grateful that my mother instilled wisdom in me in those early years.

2. Be a Lover of All Children.

Some people ask if I had a “tiger mom.” My answer is no. My mother was strict and set high expectations. She sacrificed to ensure that I had every opportunity to succeed.

However, Mom didn’t just invest in my sister and me. She poured her life into hundreds of children. She didn’t start serving other children when she became an empty nester. She began investing in other children while my sister and I were still young.

My mother taught children's Sunday school for 25 years, and during that time, she also directed children’s musicals two to three times a year. With a few other people, she started an AWANA program which continues as a thriving ministry in that church today. Hundreds of children learned about the Bible and the gospel of Jesus Christ through my mother.

Children’s brains are like sponges in their early years. My mother filled their minds with Bible verses, stories, and songs that provided a backbone grammar for them later in life.

Be a lover of all children, not just your own children.

3. Parenting Is a Lifelong Commitment.

I talked with my mother on the phone at least twice a week when I first moved away to attend college. Mom soon became my good adult friend.

She was my prayer warrior when I left the house. She prayed that God would provide me with a loving, godly wife. She prayed that I would serve God and others and not just myself. She prayed that I would faithfully use my spiritual gifts.

My mother remained involved in my life as an adult. She constantly advised me, yet she understood that I needed to make my own decisions and accept their consequences.

I gave my mother more heartache as an adult than as a child. As a parent of four children, I must remind myself that changing diapers is only the beginning. You never stop being a parent.

4. Love Your Husband (Spouse) More Than Your Children.

My parents talked constantly. They were best friends. As much as I felt loved by my mother, I also saw that my mother loved my father deeply.

My father was not always the easiest person to love. An important lesson I learned from my mother is seeing what unconditional love looks like.

Some women tell me it’s easy for them to love their children but hard to love their husbands. The most significant impact you can make on your children is to love your spouse unconditionally. By loving your spouse daily, you will impact your children more deeply than any verbal lesson you can give them.

5. Impact People for Eternity.

In the last six months of my mother's terminal illness, at least a dozen individuals shared with me the impact my mother had on their lives. These were not just grown children from my mother’s Sunday school. They were Mom’s high school classmates. They were distant relatives that I didn’t even know I had. They were acquaintances to whom my mother decided to reach out.

When dealing with friends, my mother never considered what she could get from a relationship. Instead, she asked herself what she could offer to serve the people God had placed in her life. My mother taught me to think about what you can give in a relationship, not what you can receive.

What imprint will you make on people? What will be the legacy you leave behind?

6. Redeem the Time.

My mother retired from full-time work when she was 67 years old. She was eager to retire because she had many things she wanted to do after retirement.

Unfortunately, four hours after she left her office on her last day of work, she fell ill and was brought to the emergency room. She became paralyzed from the chest down due to Guillian Barre syndrome. That same week, she found a new breast lump and was later diagnosed with breast cancer.

My mother was in good health up until her retirement, but she did not have a healthy day of life afterward.

How foolish it is to assume God will give you a long life. The life God gives us is precious, short, and fleeting. Redeem the time.

7. My God Is a God of Miracles.

My parents went on a three-week trip to Asia when my mother regained strength. On the second to last day of their trip overseas, my mother abruptly vomited and lost consciousness. She was brought to a hospital in Hong Kong, and a brain scan revealed a massive brain hemorrhage.

As a physician, I had never seen a patient survive such an extensive brain hemorrhage. A neurosurgeon rushed my mother to the operating room less than 2 hours after she had arrived at the hospital. They evacuated the bleed, and my mother woke up one day later.

Three weeks later, my mother regained the strength to return to the United States on a commercial flight. To this day, I believe this was a medical miracle. God extended my mother’s life so she could spend her final days with her family and loved ones.

8. Only What’s Done for Christ Will Last.

After she had returned to the United States, many of her friends flew to California from all over the United States, Canada, and Asia. They gathered together for a banquet celebration to say goodbye to my mother. My mother, out of character, wanted to give a speech, and in a packed banquet hall, she pleaded with her best friends to trust in our Lord Jesus. I had never heard my mother share the gospel in public. I had never seen my mother show so much strength and courage.

I spent most of Mom’s last 72 hours at her bedside. I told Mom everything I wanted to say. Mom was not perfect, but God gave the perfect mom for me.

The final lesson my mother taught me is this: “Only one life, ’twill soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.”

Pedro Cheung is a member of Grace Bible Church